Ranking every UFO 50 game after 100 hours

When I first booted up UFO 50 and was met with “PLAY FOREVER”, I didn’t realize that was a threat.

UFO 50 is a game of discoveries. Digging into unknown games, figuring out how they work, learning the story of the company that made them, and everything in between has kept me immersed and impressed beyond any expectation I could have set. It’s a joyful thing, a project chock full of love for the medium (if not the industry), and it has won me over completely and totally. If you love video games, like, as a concept, you should play this as soon as possible.

That said, they can’t all be winners! It’s time to talk about every single game from worst to best, and then assemble them all into a tier list at the end because I know what the internet likes: things in rows! No more time for preamble – this thing is nearly 8,000 words and it’s already too late for you to click off. Grab a drink, get comfortable, and let’s start with the discs that I’d sooner dump off at the Goodwill than inflict on myself or anyone I care about.

THRIFT STORE

#50: Combatants

Take an RTS, replace any direct unit control with suggestions, and make all of them walk through molasses on their way to perform the same tasks for the 100th time. That’s The Combatants Experience™! Don’t get me wrong, you can learn to wrangle this thing, but it’s a miserable journey head to tail. Your best chance of winning any given stage is just taking advantage of the enemy AI being just as stupid as your own units and kiting them around with hold commands. I won’t get too deep into this for meta-story spoiler purposes, but there is an argument to be made that this game is as bad as it is on purpose. That may be! It still sucks to actually play, though, and belongs where the ants live.

#49: Block Koala

Fun fact about me: I have a terrible sokoban allergy and as such Block Koala threatens to make me break out in hives if I play it too long. It’s the kind of puzzle game where you stare at the screen for a while, solve the puzzle, then spend far longer actually executing said solution while occasionally tapping the undo button. There are folks for whom this’ll tickle their brains, but for me it feels like virtual sandpaper.

#48: Planet Zoldath

Old school adventure games relied on clockwork design, rewarding exploration while subtly guiding the player. Planet Zoldath’s procedural generation does not allow for this, hiding its three endgame collectibles wherever, which occasionally results in seeds that end up nigh impossible to complete and others that end almost as soon as they begin. Progression is messy and unsatisfying. I can’t bring myself to hate PZ, but its potential is largely wasted.

#47: Star Waspir

I am far from a shmup expert, but I don’t think there is anything particularly wrong with Star Waspir from a game design perspective. Collecting letter upgrades in various orders to power up and chase high scores is neat! Unfortunately for me in particular, there’s something about this particular game that is physically unpleasant to play. That’s not exaggeration, it makes my eyes hurt something fierce. It’s the only game in UFO 50 to elicit this reaction from me and I have no idea why. Flashing? Flicker? Not sure, but I can’t play it for more than a level or two without regretting it. This game would probably rank a good bit higher if I could look at it!

#46: Divers

JRPGs are my jam but Divers, despite its lovely underwater aesthetics and cute lizard people, just isn’t. Endlessly retreading the same areas over and over again on your way to and from the surface, combined with the grinding required to be able to make any real progress, leaves me cold and damp. There’s making a throwback JRPG, and then there’s making a Dragon Quest 1 throwback with a single town.

DONE WITH BUT WOULD GIVE TO FRIENDS

Hey look at that, we’re already out of the negativity zone! What can I say, UFO 50 is really good. I don’t necessarily love all of these games but I’m glad I played them. More importantly, I would feel comfortable handing these hypothetical discs over to genre-inclined friends for them to experience. 

#45: Caramel Caramel

A marginally better shmup than Star Waspir in the eye fatigue department, but otherwise not quite my tempo. The camera freezing enemies and causing other interactions is a cool trick! Everything else is pretty bland. Combine that with levels that are a bit more interested in tricking you the first time through than presenting a challenge upon replay, and you’ve got a shmup I don’t intend to go back to. 

#44: Porgy

There is a very real chance this is my most controversial placement. A lot of folks seem to love Porgy and I do see why, it’s an ultra-cute metroidvania that offers a very different take on traversal and combat than we typically see. Problem is, I don’t think either of those things are done better than average. Porgy is incredibly slow paced, in large part due to your constantly dwindling air supply forcing even more frequent trips to the surface than Divers demanded. Meanwhile the combat is straight up awful;  your torpedoes are effectively a melee weapon for the majority of the game and most enemies can either dash at you from out of range or shoot you from across the screen. When the game is at its best swiping an upgrade from a dangerous area and escaping with a single gasp of air left can feel like you’ve executed a heist. At its worst, which is more frequent, it’s a slog chock full of repetitive trips where no progress is made and combat that drags the game down like an anchor around its periscope.

#43: Paint Chase

Paint Chase is an authentically old school experience for better and worse. It’s initially very engaging, with its Rally X + Splatoon design making covering each level an interesting puzzle. The problem is exactly that: they’re secretly just puzzles. There are correct answers to each level, and once you figure them out all of the challenge goes out the window. That’s not inherently a bad thing, and I promise I will have puzzly games quite a bit higher on the list, but the bait and switch here puts me off.

#42: Cyber Owls

Heck of a swansong, huh? The LXIII’s last game is (appropriately for the narrative) a pile of unfinished ideas in a trenchcoat. Each character having their own wholly different set of mechanics is a great concept, but none of them are given enough time or polish to shine. The beat-em-up is decent but barely present, the Wild Guns-ish shooter is a bit clunky, and the other two characters’ bits (turbo tunnel style drive’n’gun and original Metal Gear-ish stealth) are easy to the point of not mattering. If anything I was most intrigued by the rescue minigame that’s played after you fail a level and need to rescue that owl, but if the game is played well you’ll never even see those. A lot of “almosts” here.

#41: Velgress

I do appreciate the arcade-y nature of Velgress, with almost any mistake sending you back to the bottom floor and the game’s starting jingle firing up again, but if you’re anything like me you’ll come to find its doodly-doodly-doodly-doodly-doooo more frustrating than motivating. Once you get the hang of the game enough to reliably get through the first area (and hopefully get a decent upgrade or three) it’s arguably easier, which is strange. What I especially don’t love is how the game applies pressure. Rather than present a threat from below, the screen scrolls almost every time you jump and the floor constantly crumbles under your feet. This means that you’ll semi-regularly attempt a jump only to have hit it a millisecond after the platform is too crumbly to kick off, spending your double jump and careening into the grinder. If a game is 90% jumping it needs to feel a bit better than this. 

#40: Ninpek

I do appreciate the arcade-y nature of Ninpek, with only a couple mistakes sending you back to the title screen and the game’s starting jingle firing up again, but…uh. Wait. Hold on.

Ninpek is an awkward auto-scrolling platformer. There’s a good chance this controls like nothing you’ve ever played. Your ninja is constantly walking forward, maintaining position on the screen. Because of the auto-scroll, this means holding position requires you to constantly tap left. Since you can only throw shuriken in the direction you’re facing, this can be a bit of a pain! It eventually becomes second nature, and there is satisfaction to be found in collecting secret burgers while constantly dodging threats, but I never loved it. If a game is 90% jumping it needs to feel a bit better than this too.

#39: Mortol II

I swear I don’t hate metroidvanias! Mortol II has a lot of strengths. Its map is intricate, its classes are varied (including each having their own background music!), and their cool-ass sacrifice powers permanently affecting the world instead of handing you upgrades is a fantastic subversion of the genre that I’d love to see iterated on. I actually had a pretty good time with this one, but it’s in this tier because it kind of…runs out of game? Once you figure out a route to the finish you can ignore the lion’s share of the map, and that’s a bit of a downer. That plus the combat being pretty poor (to the point where it’s correct to fight as little as possible and therefore not use the Gunner much) bring it down for me, but I’d still hand this disc to a friend with some amount of excitement.

#38: Camouflage

Speaking of running out of game! Camouflage is a sweet hybridization of puzzle and stealth, offering a solid challenge that never wastes your time. It’s clever, crafty, and always makes you feel like you’ve gotten away with something even though the solutions are clearly intended. I like it quite a bit, so why is it this low? Because there’s not nearly enough of it. 15 levels feels like it doesn’t do the concept justice, especially when the likes of Block Koala get fifty. This is a game that’ll benefit immensely from UFO 50’s budding modding scene, I suspect.

#37: Golfaria

Look, UFO 50 has a lot of exploration-focused games, several were bound to end up on the lower end. Golfaria should be exactly my shit – I love golf games! I love upgrades! I love smacking bird drones upside the head! Why don’t I love this enough to revisit? In a word: gamefeel. Top down golf isn’t necessarily bad, but combine that with it being incredibly difficult to read the lay of the green, an annoyingly zoomed in camera that forces you to scroll ahead before taking every shot, and a limited number of shots before it sends you back to the starting town, and you’ve got The Porgy Problem all over again. I enjoyed golfing more than puttering through the ocean, but why do so many of these games feel compelled to force the player to retread the same starting area again and again?

#36: Pilot Quest

If you’d asked me where this game would rank when I started it, I would have guessed significantly higher. Pilot Quest’s core concept of resources accruing while idle is a distinct one from other games in the collection, and the Zelda-ish walk’n’bop combat while out in the field is good enough, if a bit simple. My grumpiness set in when I first cleared it, realized the amount of grinding required to get the cherry, and decided I’d had more than enough. That first play was pretty great though!

#35: Campanella 3

The oddest duck of the Campanella series, as well as its last entry. Where every other game is focused on keeping your UFO safe from enemies and the sweet embrace of gravity, Camp 3 sees Pilot deciding that enough is enough and finally strapping some lasers to his bell. It’s a 3D space shooter, basically! I enjoy this enough, and I’m not looking to criticize it for not being a “real” Campanella game – deviations from series convention are good! – but it feels kind of loosey-goosey with hit detection that’s a bit overly generous on both sides. Far from bad! Just one I’d be fine to let go.

#34: Mini & Max

UFO 50 has no shortage of creativity, and Mini & Max exhibits some of the most per screen. Moving to a section of the room a whole foot away, then shrinking and experiencing an entirely new zone, is simultaneously great for exploration and puzzles while also effectively integrating fast travel into the mechanics. Super rad, and there are so many fun surprises to discover that I don’t want to ruin it for anyone who hasn’t made it too far yet. It’s only on the cusp of being a game I’d hang onto because I’d sooner give it to someone who hasn’t played it and hear their reactions than run through it from scratch again.

IN CLOSET

Keepers! Everything from here on out is a game I enjoyed with few-to-no caveats. Not the kind of things I’d want to play every day, week, month, or even year, but good enough that I’d like the option to go back.

#33: Lords of Diskonia

I am always going to be skeptical of digital dexterity games. It’s much easier to consistently flick in a straight line, with exactly the right amount of power, when I don’t actually have to flick anything. Fortunately LoD does plenty more than just challenge your accuracy! It’s effectively a turn based skirmish game, with a funky initiative system that forces you to switch units regularly while still giving you plenty of options. Unit variety is solid, with giant discs that do a ton of damage to everything they touch, small speedy ones that you can flick several times a turn, ranged fighters that launch other discs instead of themselves, etc. Throw them into arenas with intractable terrain and you’ve got yourself a legitimately neat skirmish game, especially in multiplayer. Very much a sometimes-game, but when it hits it hits.

#32: Hyper Contender

Platform fighters often neglect movement, specifically differentiating it from character to character. HC fully commits to making its characters feel incredibly distinct. This is a platform fighter where a Bionic Commando-esque character with no actual jump is an option, and he’s good! The focus on collecting rings instead of knockouts, balancing picking up drops and beating them out of your opponent, makes the asymmetry feel even more core to the experience. A very wonky thing, and very much best played in multiplayer as any game like this is, but a good time for sure.

#31: Night Manor

A point and click horror game, and better executed than most I might add! NM achieves a significant amount of tension thanks to some excellent mechanics involving its villain that I refuse to spoil. Phenomenal sound design, puzzle logic that’s challenging but never full-on esoteric, and some of the best art in the entire game makes this a really special treat. I refuse to discuss it any further as this one really relies on as much of it being a surprise as possible. As a direct consequence it’s not as replayable as other games in this category, but I have it here because I ain’t giving it away. This one’s for me. 

#30: Kick Club

Do you like Bubble Bobble? Or original Mario Brothers (the arcade game)? Wish it had a bit of shmovement? Kick Club is here! You’re going to be hopping, sliding, and kicking your soccer ball at all kinds of angles in order to take out a bunch of sports mascots. It’s not an easy time, but as you get the hang of it you’ll start to see the potential for seriously slick plays. Every angle matters, every ricochet has the potential to get your ball back to you just a bit quicker, and everything adds up into a slightly better run than you had prior. Every time I step away from this game for a bit I can feel my skills resetting to 0, and I don’t sit down with it often, but when I play it I play it.

#29: Seaside Drive

And in total contrast we have Seaside Drive! It’s hardly the deepest side scrolling shooter, but it’s also almost unfathomably cool: you drive an Outrun-ass red sports car that’s constantly speeding forward, firing your gun at various enemies both in the air and on the road. It gradually loses charge, but – but! – it recharges if you drift (sliding backwards a bit). This makes the controls feel a bit odd, but this is counterbalanced by looking sick as hell. The levels are visually varied, with Sega blue skies giving way to purple sunsets, then night, then back to day. My complaint is solely that 4 levels just isn’t nearly enough of this. At least the ending unironically rules.

#28: Campanella

Once you play Campanella the meta-story UFO focus starts to make a lot of sense. It’s a simple game of tight flying through obstacle courses executed without an ounce of fat. Unlike several other games in the collection, Camp 1 really feels like a complete package that I could absolutely believe came out on the system, found plenty of fans, sold well enough to affect branding, and spawned several sequels. Like many system sellers in the real world, I like this game quite a bit! It’s not my favorite of the series (more on that in a while), but it’s hard to argue with the foundations it establishes.

#27: Devilition

Wait a second, I know this game! This is a vintage Derek Yu joint, cleaned up and made into the best version of itself while fitting remarkably well into the broader collection. It’s a game of chain reactions, demanding that you set up your lil’ helpers in such a way that blowing one up will blow all of them up, and with them, the demons harassing the townsfolk you’re trying to defend. This is a tricky game to get your head around, but if you take your time (and a couple losses) you’ll find yourself comboing off 20 or so critters for a board wipe with ease. Very cool, makes my brain produce The Good Chemical.

#26: Overbold

I initially had Overbold quite a bit lower as all of my runs tended to go one of two ways: easy victory or instant loss, depending on what items went on sale. It wasn’t until I started going for the cherry and really pushing my luck that I came to appreciate this Smash TV-ish thing. It still feels a bit slight as far as enemy variety goes, and the fact that there’s only 1 arena is a downer, but none of that diminishes the intensity of a run when your upgrades are flowing and you decide to add 3 more waves of enemies because you’re just that confident.

#25: Vainger

Wooooooah we’re halfway there. And what a great halfway point this is! Vainger is as Metroid-y of a metroidvania as you could ask for, but with the gravity flipping movement of VVVVVV to keep your brain working overtime. Expect customizable upgrades, tricky obstacles, and collectibles galore. There are little things I don’t love here, most notably that you can only access your map at waypoints, but none of them get in the way of this being my favorite example of its genre in a collection with several.

#24: Warptank

Warptank challenges you to make the absolute most of a relatively simple moveset. Scoot left or right, shoot where you’re facing – no aiming! – , or hop to the wall on the opposite side. That’s all you’ve got, and that’s all you need to navigate some truly devious levels. There’s a lot of really slick stuff in here, including in the hub level itself. If this was a standalone indie people would be singing its praises but it’s just, you know, here! UFO 50 is a marvel.

#23: Rock On! Island

Gotta be honest, I never expected this collection would have a tower defense game, much less one this good. ROI (which offers an excellent return of fun on your time investment) has you setting cavemen, chickens, and fires throughout the land to defend your caves from hostile dinos. Importantly, this is one of the rare TD games to make your character an active combatant. You can run around and fight wherever you’re needed, and choosing when to upgrade your board VS upgrading your weapon is a more compelling decision than many standalone TDs can manage. I would have liked a bit more tower/caveman variety as it’s easy to fall into patterns (oil and fire for chokepoints, wheel for long paths), but that’s a minor gripe in a game that I have few for.

ON SHELF

These are kept nearby! Strong recommendations, with memorable experiences that I’ve already found myself replaying.

#22: The Big Bell Race

Take Campanella’s controls, but then make it entirely about going fast. I’m in! I’m so in! This is UFO 50’s only racing game, which is frankly kind of surprising, so it’s fortunate that this one is as fun as it is. I’d have liked a few more courses, but given that this was an in-universe console pack-in game and more of a side project I’m not surprised that it’s a bit thin. When I feel like a quick burst of Campanella I find myself jumping to this first.

#21: Mortol

Mortol’s premise of state-mandated sacrifice was best realized in its first incarnation. You have a simple linear 2D platformer here, with lil’ guys who can only run, jump, and die. Ideally you’ll kill them yourselves, albeit while using the various sacrifice abilities to create shortcuts and get as many extra lives as possible. It’s darkly hilarious, especially when you take a step back after finishing a level and see the life totals across your entire playthrough go up and down like a stock ticker.

#20: Waldorf’s Journey

If you told me the game about the chubby walrus flapping through the air would be one of the more teeth-gritting challenges in UFO 50 I probably would have believed you, but I also would have had questions. WJ is a dual threat. Not only does it make for a fun challenge in single player, with quite a bit of movement tech to master and a short but well executed story, it also offers some of the funniest multiplayer in the entire collection as your walruses sumo fight for bragging rights. Hardly the most complicated game in either mode, but the combination of both makes this impossible to not smile when playing, unless you’re getting tossed offstage by the wind while going for the cherry for the 7th time in a row.

#19 Onion Delivery

If Porgy wasn’t my most controversial placement, this one might be. I understand why your average player may not dig Onion Delivery. It’s chaotic, the controls are squirrely, and at times it feels like God himself will pick up your car and drop it into a Rube Goldberg death machine. And all of these things are valid! The thing is, I am not an average player. I am unwell. I like it when games hurt me, especially when I’m given enough means to wrangle them into shape given time, and OD took me on the same sort of journey I went on when I sought out to get really good at Driver. There are plenty of movement tricks, routes to learn, and ways to avoid hazards that make each day of OD genuinely engaging. Also I love going fast, did I mention that?

#18: Hot Foot

A little bit Super Dodgeball…ok a lotta bit Super Dodgeball. Look, I love Super Dodgeball, and we don’t get enough games about fake sports these days. Drafting characters with different specialties and going toe to toe on the line as your totally-not-hungover gym coach hucks beanbags down the line rocks my tube socks. The special throws these schoolchildren are capable of are truly gonzo on a level that even some of the most nutty Kunio-Kun games weren’t willing to reach. Great time, especially when played with a coop partner. That said I swear to god if coach beans me in the head with another Gatorade I will drop this game 10 places.

#17: Valbrace

It’s easy to call Valbrace a dungeon crawler with Punch Out combat. That surface read is compelling on its face, but it’s far more interesting to look at what that hybridization results in: visceral combat, with all the benefits of a dungeon full of loot to take and spells to learn. Ducking, weaving, blocking, and casting Fireball is ridiculously sick. The dungeon crawling itself is not my favorite, but as I’ve mentioned prior, I am a sicko who wants games to try to kick him in the pants. When my only complaint is that the other parts could afford to be a bit spikier I know I’m playing a good game.

#16: Fist Hell

I referenced Kunio-Kun earlier, and now we’re playing the closest thing to River City Ransom in the collection! This one does have a bit more red on it though. Your characters can punch like they’re in Riki-Oh, but they also get wombo-comboed by any number of monsters and as a result FH has earned a bit of a reputation as a ballbuster. Thing is, I 1CC beat ‘em ups for fun. Do you get why this is so high for me now? Hell, I’d argue in coop it’s not actually that hard. We got the gold and cherry at the same time! If this had maybe 2 more levels and all of the characters were viable I’d gladly pop it into my top 10. Don’t let that stop you from grabbing a friend and hitting the streets.

#15: Rakshasa

Mossmouth, c’mere. Let me talk to you real quick.

This right here? This is obnoxious. But you knew that, didn’t you?

Of all the games in this collection, and yes I do mean all, Rakshasa seems widely considered to be “the hard one”. This is some Ghosts ‘n Goblins-core stuff. If you do not know how to handle each and every section of each and every level, fight, hell even each individual jump, you’re cooked. Sure you can go collect your soul in the little bullet hell segment and come back to life, but you only get a few of those before they’re functionally impossible. This game demands you learn it, all of it, or you get to go back to square one and start learning all over again. 

I play these kinds of games. I beat these kinds of games. Rakshasa’s good, and very much my kind of thing, but it’s not perfect. I’m fine with fully committal jumps and preset shot angles in a game intended to be played with a d-pad, but why can’t I aim straight up or down? Why is there a projectile dead zone between your character and where the fireballs come out? Why is the spread shot so lousy? Why does it have a timer in the first place?

I wouldn’t put Rakshasa this high if I didn’t think it was great, and I do! Just know that you’re in for some bullshit. You know if you’re about this or not, and I am.

#14: Grimstone

Oh shit, a whole ass JRPG? In a 50 game collection? And not like Divers, an entire damn thing with an overworld and towns and party members and a plot? Good heavens. And hells.

Grimstone is structured like Final Fantasy 1, but with 8 possible party members (chosen at the start) with roles as varied as Final Fantasy 3’s jobs. There’s also timed hit combat, because why not, and it’s significantly affected by skills and gear. The eruption of hell in the wild west has led to some wild monster designs, meaning walking into a new area will often result in fighting something you’d rather not. You can grind, or you can try to thug it out, but it’s not interested in pulling punches.

I’ll be real with you, I haven’t finished Grimstone yet. Ranking it this high may prove incorrect once I finally wrap this thing. But it appeals to me on a personal level, and slowly chipping away at it here and there fills the Dragon Quest-shaped hole in my heart that their modern incarnations haven’t quite managed to do, as much as I enjoy them. Grimstone isn’t for everyone, but it is for me.

#13: Attactics

Game design is fascinating, isn’t it? I’ve played plenty of games with timed turns, but rarely with timers as short as Attactics utilizes. I swear they built this entire game around cutting you off at the knees once every several seconds, and I love it for that. Its single player is essentially a series of real time puzzles that have you learning the game’s mechanics against increasingly tilted odds. It’s plenty fun, but all of that is really priming you for the multiplayer, which adds a layer of doublethink to the already chaotic proceedings as you try to counter each other’s units in real time only to watch both of your sides charge forward in the worst possible formation. It’s chaos, but always controlled, and I suspect far deeper than it’s being given credit for.

#12: Barbuta

If you’ve read this far into a UFO 50 piece you’re probably already familiar with Barbuta, but if you’re not, let me highlight the enviable confidence it takes to lead off your highly anticipated game collection with a game that boots straight into gameplay, has no music, and hands you your first of many deaths with a ceiling trap as soon as you take 3 steps to the right. 

It’s when you actually give Barbuta some time that its layers start to reveal themselves, and they are as varied as they are many. Puzzles, exploration, action, wonder, and challenge challenge challenge. It’s exactly the kind of game it appears to be, but it’s also more and better than that, and warrants attention for more than just the meta “this is what started the company” hook. Of all the games I’d argue that Barbuta benefits most from applying modern game design principles to an intentionally old-school premise. If this actually came out in the early 80s we would be far better off.

#11: Bug Hunter

B’unter! My beloved! This was originally one tier above and on any given day it could creep back up there. This game is perilously deep and incredibly moreish, chock full of hidden tech and strategic potential for you to discover on your own. Once you get the hang of it and clear your third day it gets significantly harder to the point where you may need to stare at a board for a few minutes just to figure out what you might do, and I love it for that. Moreso than any other game in this collection I really wish this was on mobile. Or maybe not. I would never get anything done.

NEXT TO TV

Yeah I know the LX is a self-contained computer with its own screen, but these games feel console-y enough. These are the games I want in reach at all times because God forbid I not sate my frequent impulse to pop them in at any given moment. If you see me playing UFO 50 at this point, there’s a better than average chance that these 10 games are why.

#10: Pingolf

I told you I love golf! Pingolf couldn’t be simpler: aim, charge, swing, and maybe do a sick dunk. Oh I’m sorry, have you not heard the good word of The Dunk Button? You see, in the far-off future your powerful roboball with allow you to slam it at full speed directly into the ground once per swing, letting you pull tricks like hitting a ramp for way more distance or slamming into sand on purpose, saving you from the abyss. You’re basically playing this entire course with a wedge, it’s fine!

I’ve had a recurring complaint with UFO 50 in terms of the amount of game per title, and I could say that here too – I love this system, obviously I’d want more of it! But in Pingolf I’m legitimately enamored with just playing these 18 holes again and again. A playthrough is so fast that I can score chase myself whenever the mood strikes, which has been often. I can’t consistently wrap under par yet! Sure one of the holes is just a knowledge check where you hole in one or die, but the game otherwise richly rewards experimentation and mastery. Also I just love The Dunk Button.

#9: Elfazar’s Hat

I said I wasn’t huge on shmups, but that doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy dodging bullets. For whatever reason I’ve always preferred the grounded approach – Pocky & Rocky, Shock Troopers, that sort of thing, and Elfazar’s Hat is one of those with the kookiest upgrade system I’ve ever seen. Forget just picking up a better gun or a shield, I sure hope you like collecting sets of cards while dodging enemy fire! 

Our first completion of this game was a hoot. Neither of us really knew what we were in for, and my coop partner was new to the genre in general. Turns out this one’s an excellent on-ramp! Like several other games in the collection I would love it if this was a bit longer, but given that 1CCing is the cherry requirement I appreciate that this fits into half an hour or less. It’s simultaneously a great example of its mechanics and of the collection’s visual style, with some of my favorite spritework across the whole thing. Banger.

#8: Mooncat

The Barbuta sequel we deserve! Mooncat is one of the most immediately striking games in the entirety of UFO 50, and I mean from the very moment you’re given control. It’s essentially a two button game: the left half of your controller is left, the right half is right. Press both to jump. There’s also a slide, a ground pound, and some other tech but let’s not worry about that right now. What matters is this is a platformer you can play with a DK Bongo controller, baby! Where are my Divekick and Donkey Kong Jungle Beat players at???

God, Mooncat goes so ridiculously hard. Once you get your head around its controls you’ll find the smoothest platforming UFO 50 has to offer. Gliding from platform to platform, bouncing from enemy to enemy, figuring out how the secret warps work, it’s pure bliss. Mossmouth’s unwillingness to ever succumb to the cop out and just “make a Mario” is worthy of praise. I cherried this thing and I still haven’t seen every screen or done everything I want to do. 

#7: Magic Garden

It’s Snake! It’s Pac-Man! It’s been labeled an addictive substance by the FDA!

Magic Garden is by far the most easily-described-by-comparison game in all of UFO 50. It really is as simple as the above, mechanical details and a cool kickflip that can dodge obstacles notwithstanding. What matters is that this would have devoured quarters in the arcade, sold heaps of discs/carts, and shattered attention spans in school computer labs if it came out anywhere else. I don’t even have a ton else to say about it – it’s just exactly what it intends to be, and that intent is a game that makes you say “OK hold on, one more go,” for the 15th time. I’m not kidding when I say I got a round in after this paragraph.

#6: Campanella 2

Spelunky 3? Is that you? You look great! And a lot like Blaster Master, which I love by the way!

Ok, that’s a bit of a fib. Camp 2 isn’t all that much like Spelunky, but it is an honest to goodness roguelike that fuses Campanella’s gameplay with side scrolling shooter action. The perspective switches upon entering each room or dungeon arguably feels more like Zelda 2 than Blaster Master if I’m being overly specific, but if I keep making comparisons I’ll never actually write anything of value.

Camp 2 is a wonky beast. Sometimes its maps don’t feel fully cooked, with big dead zones containing no collectables or routes back to the rest of the space. The upgrades refusing to explain themselves even after you’ve bought them means you’ll have a lot of trial and error (Protip: get the gray upgrade with the skull and green droplet, thank me later). It even has the same funky dead zone between you and your gun like Rakshasa!

I could easily keep griping, but none of my complaints actually matter when I keep starting runs again and again. The frequent swaps between flying and run & gun just work. Regardless of what it resembles or any shortcomings, this is still a Mossmouth roguelike through and through. It’ll make you work for your fun and you’ll thank them for it. Good stuff.

#5: Bushido Ball

Is it heresy to say I like this better than Windjammers? That sounds wild when I read it back, but I mean it! BB delivers on both of the things I want from a fake sports game: high speed tactical gameplay and impossible levels of violence involving a ball.

The six characters are wildly asymmetrical here, with multiple special abilities that are charged by volleying. Said volleys go absurdly fast, and yet the control scheme is so simple that anyone could pick it up in minutes. Move, dodge, and swing are all you get. Dodge in any direction before swinging and you can curve, lob, you name it. On release the far lob had a trick where perfect spacing gave you a reliable goal, but that’s since been patched and the game is the best it’s ever been! The benefits of retfaux on full display.

If there’s any justice this’ll get some attention from the fighting game community. Back when I used to compete I’d run mystery game events for our local scene, and this would have absolutely killed. I have every reason to believe this would hold up, and also that my Yamada would give new players fits.

#4: Quibble Race

This is another former Flash game from the Yu-man himself, only this time it’s grimier. Slimier. A shambling green homunculus dredged up from the era of Newgrounds by its ankles, body frayed, but repairable. The folks at Mossmouth performed their black rite, granting it new flesh, and upon restoring its vocal chords it mustered everything in its lungs and loosed a single guttural phrase:

“LET’S GO GAMBLING!”

Quibble Race is horse racing for assholes. Take thousands from a loan shark so you can pay a goon to poison a rival’s quibble, then take an 8:1 bet on the one you don’t even own because you just know that one of your friends paid the same goon to break its knees. I see you Joe, you’re not slick, fuck off with your bad self.

It’s all about how much money you end up with, of course, but what really matters is the money we make during the journey along the way. Everything leading up to the final round (during which bets are no-limit) sets up the game’s ultimate punchline: watching everyone’s finances rise and fall in the endgame chart. Sure you gained a few digits in your bank account, but Woogy over there made more, so don’t you feel stupid? Better hit the track again tomorrow.

#3: Rail Heist

Rail Heist looks like a lot of things: a puzzle platformer, a stealth action game, a series of western heist levels. It’s all of those things, but it’s one thing before all of those: a 2D immersive sim.

I realize the severity of my claim. Granted there’s no dialogue mid-heist, and skill checks are replaced with actually playing the video game, but other than that Rail Heist has all the hallmarks. Open ended level design that lets you achieve goals as however you please? Check. Enemies you can circumvent or just avoid? Check. Box stacking? Check on check on check. Sure seems like an im-sim to me, at least from a mechanical perspective!

The creativity RH allows you to employ in how you go about hopping back on your horse with a train’s worth of cash beggars belief. The further I got the more I was impressed by its mechanics, controls, level design, everything. Moreso than most games in UFO 50 this feels like a fully realized game that’s just…part of the collection. Now that modding has kicked off for this I am extremely excited to see what kaizo-ifications await us. This game really yees my haw.

#2: Party House

I have grown increasingly skeptical of deckbuilders over the last few years. More and more seem content to just offer their spin on a preexisting concept, be it Dominion, Slay the Spire, or some other third thing. So imagine my surprise when Party House not only hooked me with its push your luck core, but managed to do so when other PYL deckbuilders like Mystic Vale failed to! Sure it subs cards for people in your rolodex, but I know a card when I see one, and all my friends are a buncha cards.

The phases won’t surprise the more card game inclined. First you party, which essentially involves playing Blackjack with your rolodex until you choose to stop or your party gets so rowdy that the cops or fire department show up. If you slam the door shut before the sirens, you get to leverage your connections to make even more friends. That’s all well and good, but none of it wins you the game. What gets it done is throwing the ultimate bash: 4 celebrities at the same time. All of the invite-able people change with each play, including said celebs, so you need to make a plan and be prepared to pivot if things aren’t going famously. It’s a loop as tight as it is clever, working well even when you’re playing with a fully randomized board, which is where I’m truly hooked. This may be the most infinitely replayable game of the lot and that’s saying something.

#1: Avianos

4X games present several unique design challenges, especially if you’re aiming to shorten their typically gargantuan play time, and even more so if you reduce the player count. How do you create compelling conflicts that aren’t just zero sum exchanges? How do you represent all 4 of the Xs: exploration, expansion, exploitation, and extermination? No game I have played that claims to capture the essence of 4X in an hour or less has actually delivered on that promise, and especially not for 2 players. I didn’t think it was possible, but now we have Avianos. Now I am happy.

The premise alone is singular. Mankind has finally nuked itself off the face of the Earth. Hooray! It’s been many years, and now birds have rebuilt society. Yes! They’ve learned nothing and succumbed to the same warlike urges that took the mammals. Boo! Time for violence, I guess!

Avianos is a turn-based 4X with an incredibly clever and deceptively simple action system. You pray to one of your dino ancestors. They determine which actions you get to perform (making units, moving, building, casting spells, etc.) and also grow stronger, allowing you to improve said actions over the course of the game. No polytheistic society can depend entirely on one god, so if you want to actually win you’ll need to diversify your offerings. Also your opponent could easily pray to them first and stop you from doing those actions in the first place! Sorry, Brontor’s occupied today! Take grievances up with Quetzal!

From there it’s a relatively standard dudes-on-a-map situation. Make units, build infrastructure, gather resources, take turf, and try to hold 4 forts long enough that the other player loses. Fights play out in real time, but without direct control. Not like Combatants, don’t worry – your pieces just follow general orders and tend to run right at each other otherwise. The most important thing is numbers and matchups. Archers tend to beat footsoldiers, but die to mages, who can get toasted by an airstrike, and…you get the idea. Of course, that’s a lot harder to manage when you’re dealing with fog of war on top of everything else! So far my favorite combo is a magic-heavy one where I pray to Brontor as much as possible, then cast Trilock’s brutal spells and clean up the remainder. I say “my favorite”, but I have lost doing this! I have a lot to learn!

My point is that there’s a lot of game here, and plenty to consider turn by turn that it never tutorializes, and yet it’s never overwhelming thanks to its tight scope and minimal levers to pull at any given moment. The entire map does fit on 1 screen, after all! Even in 2p local multiplayer without fog I’ve been impressed to see how much strategic depth this game contains. It makes the most of its digital format to achieve things a physical release simply couldn’t (autocombat, easily parsed god levels for each player, fog) and packs all of its brilliance into a play time short enough that you’ll both want to reset the board immediately after.

I’m impressed by most of UFO 50’s games in one way or another, but Avianos leaves me in awe in all regards. More than any other game in this collection I want to dig deeper, show it to as many friends as I can, see how high the bird’s nest goes. Were it released on its own it would be in my contention for best of the year, so the fact that it came with 49 other games to play blows my mind. Avianos is the crown jewel of UFO 50’s resplendent crown. 

FINAL TIER LIST