Quintessentially British

Travel is a wonderful thing, isn’t it? Doing even the most typical tasks somewhere new can give them a certain shine, a level of joy in routine rarely felt. Supermarket Times challenges this concept by forcing you to insert your euro into a trolley and enter hell: a several-floor store filled to bursting with freaks, and no shopping list to guide you. If you’ve ever wanted to exist in a state of constant confusion, delirium, and mild shock at the completely mundane for a few hours, this is for you!

I was immediately overwhelmed with the Englishness of it all. Bombarded by Britannia. Conquered on the spot and forced to surrender my seasoning. With the arguable exception of its expressive hand-drawn art style, the shoppers are this game’s strongest element. They have so very, very much to chatter about and the vast majority of it is wacky in the best way. You’ve got everything from market employees who should probably not be customer-facing, to random perverts who need to talk to you in particular, to a literal goblin and no really I am not joking. Everyone’s there for a reason, but those reasons are likely only known to them, and they won’t actually affect your ability to get your shopping done no matter how distracting they are in the short term. Just like real life!

Said shopping initially seems like it’s just Something To Do. Items are everywhere and let me tell you, this game has OPINIONS about the products we purchase and consume every day. Every single item has commentary and it ranges from actual factual data to the most nutty diatribes and jingles imaginable. Sometimes the narration even contradicts what the game shows you! I made a point of clicking every single item I saw to hear as much as possible, which the game fortunately makes fairly straightforward.. Anyway, you can put all this random crap in your cart and check out at any time. This doesn’t do anything beyond wound your bank account, but watching the conga line of random crap slowly trudge towards the scanner brings me happiness.

No, you secretly aren’t really here to shop at all. Instead you will eventually shift to attempting to complete the Six Legendary Tasks ™. This list is immediately accessible, though if you’re anything like me you’ll spend the better part of an hour wandering without looking at them once because you just want to see more of the market. Once you pivot to quest mode you’ll become an utter menace. Use of products in unsavory ways. Ruining a couple people’s days, though fewer than you might think. Lots of things involving local wildlife. So many bodily substances. Tasks as varied as recycling some cans and communing with an eldritch entity. If Supermarket Times’ first act is simply wandering, observing, and laughing, the second is a semi-traditional point and click puzzle, albeit one that makes its moon logic surprisingly manageable thanks to indicating interactables and providing hints, both diegetic and not.

What’s act 3 then? That’s difficult to define, because you don’t really need to partake in it. After I ascended to legend and completed the game, I felt compelled to chase down one outstanding achievement. As I clicked around trying to figure it out, and eventually did manage to accomplish that last thing, I paused for a moment before just…shopping. I knew where things were, what I wanted to stuff into my cart and send down to the register. I couldn’t tell you why exactly, and the game didn’t ask it of me, but leaving the market with a small piece of paper documenting my buyers’ remorse one more time just felt right. I’d become comfortable with the market, its products, its people. I was truly one of the freaks now, and it only took a couple hours.

Reviewing Supermarket Times as a game is difficult. It can definitely be categorized as a comedy point and click game and among those it’s a good one, but it’s also doing its own thing, producing a unique experience that defies comparison. Playing it feels like discovering a Flash game in its 2000s golden era, a project produced by people made with zero compromise or regard for commercial viability, just making Their Thing and putting it into the world with seemingly nary a care for what people will think of its look, its writing, or its vibe. I’ve played it, and I’m very glad I did, but will it click for you? Hard to say. What I can say with full confidence is that it is the most quintessentially British game you’ll play any time soon.

8/10

Review code provided by publisher.